Mitch McConnell
"Helped us make Barack Obama a one-term president."

Lebron James
"Everyone was telling me – 'don't forget your roots'. But the No-gotiator taught me a wise saying: 'Roots Schmoots.' I dedicated my first ring to him."

Newt Gingrich
"Fifteen years later, no one remembers welfare reform, but everyone knows I shut down the government. Getting To No can secure your legacy too."

Vladamir Putin
"The chapter 'Bad Cossack, Bad Cossack' could have been pulled straight out of the KGB handbook."

Margaret Thatcher
"I taught him everything he knows."

Dick Cheney
"Could use a section on 'enhanced no-gotitation' but otherwise a useful primer on the art of the impossible."

What you should know about negotiations with Iran





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Is diplomacy with Iran a good thing for America and its allies?

Mr. Tomlinson:   Yes! Robust, sustained diplomacy with Iran is essential to prevent Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, and the prospects for a comprehensive agreement to peacefully resolve the nuclear impasse have never been higher. Only diplomacy can meaningfully and verifiably prevent Iran from developing a nuclear weapon. National security experts and the American public overwhelmingly support current diplomatic efforts to curb Iran’s nuclear program.

The NO-gotiator:

  No! When has diplomacy ever worked? If you don't think about it too much, in your gut you know I’m right. Besides, bombing is guaranteed to work!

Does America benefit from a final agreement to prevent Iran from building a nuke?

Mr. Tomlinson:   Yes! An Iranian nuclear weapon could pose serious threats to the security of the United States and its allies in the Middle East, including Israel. A diplomatic agreement that establishes strong, verifiable limits on Iran’s nuclear capacity and instructive inspections is the most practical solution for America’s national security. A final agreement will substantially increase the time it would take Iran to build a nuclear weapon (should they make the political decision to do so), establish rigorous inspections to ensure that Iran is keeping its commitments and give the international community adequate time to respond if non-compliance is discovered.

The NO-gotiator:   No! Can someone please explain to me why bombing Iran isn’t a better idea? It’s simple, clean, and effective. And most importantly, it doesn’t involve compromise! We get to decide which bombs to use and where to drop them. Remember, compromise is un-American. Sounds to me like a NO brainer!

What are the alternatives to diplomacy?

Mr. Tomlinson:   The alternatives to diplomacy are bad: military action that would only delay, not destroy Iran’s nuclear program or more sanctions, which would hurt Iran but not prevent it from continuing on a path toward acquiring a nuclear weapon.

The NO-gotiator:   If sanctions brought Iran to the table the first time, won’t more sanction bring them back to the table again? When they come back to the table a second time, we can refuse to negotiate! After that, I believe they will surrender unconditionally and we can finally get the hostages back! You’re welcome for that free lesson in NO-gotiation!

Where can I learn more about the U.S. negotiations with Iran?

Mr. Tomlinson:   If you want more smart analysis, some smart nuclear wonks at Monterey created...

The NO-gotiator:   Why would you need more information? If you insist, I believe there are some videos you can watch that explain how Iran is the second coming of Nazi Germany and all negotiations end in appeasement. Try googling “Iran” “Hitler” “we’re all going to die.”

BREAKING NEWS!   Learn how to avoid being persuaded by Internet memes:

BREAKING NEWS!   New vine from The NO-Gotiator!

BREAKING NEWS!   NO-Gotiator reveals tips he used to advise Vladimir Putin:

Right about now, you are probably asking yourself a few questions. Like: Why did he write this book? What, exactly, does he know about negotiating that is so important? How will this book change my life? Who is the No-Gotiator?

I love those questions! Thank you for thinking them.

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BREAKING NEWS!   Learn how to avoid being persuaded by Internet memes:

BREAKING NEWS!   New vine from The NO-Gotiator!

BREAKING NEWS!   NO-Gotiator reveals tips he used to advise Vladimir Putin:

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